Day 34 April 29

Today a Eugene Police Officer is being layed to rest after being shot in the line of duty.  I pray Father for His family,  for the family of the woman who took his life, for his co-workers and their families, and for all the people who just need prayer, just need help making sense of what seems like such a senseless tragedy.  May they all soon find the peace that they need to find.

This song makes me think of all those people who have been there for me.  My husband who looked me straight in the eyes and said it was going to be OK.  They all know who they are.  Sometimes its just a phone call, a lunch date, listening, telling me it's going to be OK.

I will keep Praising You Lord Thru This Storm....Cause it will be OK

Day 33 April 28

You may recognize this from AA or similar groups, but it is also helpful with Mental Illness.  Tonight this is what I need to get me through the night. Lord, I will keep Praising You Thru This Storm...

Day 32 April 27

Those three girls that I have pictured at the top of this blog are truly my proudest accomplishments in my life.  There is no job, no degree, nothing that can compare to how proud I am of them and how they have reacted and taken care and loved me through out my illness.  Having your daughters visit you in a psychiatric unit  of a hospital is extremely humbling.  Not only did they act like nothing was wrong, we have celebrated Mother's Day, a Birthday, I have been given tons of drawings to decorate my wall to make it  feel like home.  You would have never have known these girls knew anything different.  They made me feel sooo loved every time.  Which I know played a important part in my recovery there.  When I am in the hospital they wear my Wedding rings, and their friends and teachers know something is up.  They are not afraid to tell.  They wrote "Love" on their arms last year in honor of people with mental illness and were not afraid to share.  They truly are my heros.  Lord,  I thank you so much for them and how much they do for me.  I will keep Praising You Thru This Storm...

Day 31 April 26

Yes another "post".  Good reason for it though.  Friday I had the most frustrating errand, used my road rage from the passenger seat, and was diagnosed with Diabetes.  Time for a perfect  You Tube video. Lol.   Lord, help me remember how short life can be and that I need to keep Praising You Thru This Storm...

Day 30 April 17

Today I am starting to see light at the end of the tunnel...

Day 29 April 15

I am so proud of the way ABC new reported this and the dignity and elegance with which Catherine Zeta Jones handled it.  I hope the media continues to see Bipolar-ism in this fashion.  To see such a big star be so honest with her diagnosis, should help those of us that struggle with the stigmatism of mental illness, hold our heads a little higher.  So, my "box"  opens a little further.  Bi-Polar II is my most  recent diagnosis.  I have only seen this psychiatrist once, so this is new.  But,  for the first time, things are making sense and coming together.  I am on a new med.  I myself have been in the hospital four times in the past year.  Trying to tune things up.  I am hoping we have found the right "gear".  But that is what the hospital is for.  Just like any other life long illness, sometimes the medications get out of balance or stress affects it and we need a "tune" up.  More later on what has brought me to this point in my life.  Without God and my family, I wouldn't be here. So I  will keep Praising Him Thru The Storm...

Day 28 April 14

This "post" is dedicated to my husband 'cause he has always been there to pick me up when I've had a bad day.  He also has this amazing sense of humor, reminding me that I have been "posting" to my blog, not "blogging" so here's to you hunny  because I can't sleep. Lol

I have been really sick and in some pain from my back, just found out that I have pneumonia yesterday. No excuse for breaking my habit that I just started, right.  But as I have always taught my children, you just jump back in and try your best again. And yes I may do more posting than blogging:)

As I was trying to fall asleep I was just thinking, and this is defiantly my problem, I can't get my brain to shut down sometimes, have you ever lost your self in something that it takes you away for awhile from reality.  Maybe a book, a good movie or tv show, talking with a friend or even e-mailing or facebook.  This has happened to me and it is almost startling to snap back to where you are.  I was trying to  decide if this is good or bad.  I wonder if God is just giving me little breaks once in a while.  That's why I always need to live my life as an worldly example for Him. I still need alot of practice.  That's why I keep Praising Him Thru This Storm...

Day 27 April 8

Day 26 April 7

The abundance of quotes, pictures and songs is 'cause I have been fighting pain and depression along with a bug.  But, they have all been carefully chosen, as I don't want to give up on this blog that means so much to me now.  It does mean that I keep Praising You Thru This Storm...

Day 25 April 6

Day 24 April 5

 

Day 24, In a little late cause I am sick, will talk about the butterflies later...

Day 23 April 4

The I in illness is isolation, and the crucial letters in wellness are we.  ~Author unknown, as quoted in Mimi Guarneri, The Heart Speaks: A Cardiologist Reveals the Secret Language of Healing

Day 22 April 3

I have listened to this song alot, in the hospital and out, it hit a special chord with me and seems to help me get through long and lonely nights by myself when I struggle the most!

Day 21 April 2

                                  

 

     Today is the day I have formed a habit, Day 21!  Unfortunately today is also the day I am in a funk.  The last time I was hospitalized, I had a great talk with a Chaplain from the hospital.  By the way, my view on anyone's struggle, diagnosis, etc., with any type of mental illness is that it is no different than anyone else with a chronic disease that sometimes needs hospitalizations to get medications back into balance.  There seems to be such a misunderstanding.  It was big for me to start with my story on this blog, knowing anyone can read it.  I have tried to keep it quiet for along time.  I also have so much more to tell.

     Anyway, I had this great conversation with this Chaplain, who happened to have dealt in her life with some of the same things I have.  She suggested to me that when I have trouble with anxiety, to go ahead and let the feelings come, feel them, and then let them go.  Boy is it the let them go part that I am having trouble with!

    Since my illness, I have spent a little more time on my facebook page.  Because I tend to stay in the house and seclude myself, this has been a nice way to reconnect with people.  My views on it are to post things that are in support of my friends and family, things that people might enjoy or laugh at, and maybe make little comments that keep people up to date on what I am doing.  So far so good, til today.  I reposted an item, that was in support of the troops, someone told me it was a scam, so I took it down.  Then I reposted it again because of my beliefs in facebook.  I am in support of the troops.  Big Mistake!   The comments came. And guess what,  the feelings came,  I felt them,  and I CAN'T let them go.  I am still learning.  I will always need you Lord.  I will keep Praising You Thru This Storm...    

 

Day 20 April 1

"Every journey begins with a step."  From the movie,  The Chaperone

One day left til a habit is formed!  I keep Praising You Thru This Storm... P.S. Happy April Fools Day, though I am not foolin around with my blog:)